so full of love
by champion lyra
Summary: The longer he stared at possibly hundreds of tabs he had open, all with terrible or far too generic gifts, Yusaku knew that he didn't really have much of a choice. Heaving a sigh, he nodded. "Fine," he said, shutting his laptop closed. "Let's go." —DataStormShipping, RyokenYusaku. For DataStorm December 2019!


**Notes**

Hello again! Gosh, I'm really glad I was able to get so many fics finished for this event. I wasn't able to finish up my last two, but maybe writing inspo will strike my today since it's my day off. We'll see! Either way, I still have two more to go after this :) Thank you all so much for your kind comments - I'll be replying to them shortly! All that aside, this is a spiritual successor to my fic for Vrains Week, _i am learning the pathways of the heart. _You don't need to have read that to enjoy this, though!

Hope y'all enjoy today's fic!

* * *

"You've really never done this before, have you?" Miyu asked Yusaku, snorting a little when he looked away with redness beginning to spread over his face. "It's just gift shopping, Yusaku. It's not a big deal."

It was only five minutes into their online window shopping and Yusaku was ready to tear his hair out. What do you get for someone who has enough money to buy _literally _anything? It was the question that had been on his mind all weekend, and as Christmas got closer and closer, he was beginning to panic.

Christmas was, other than St. Valentine's and White Day, the most romantic holiday of the year. This was only their first year of being in a relationship - in two short months they would be at that one year mark, actually - so Yusaku really had no idea what he was doing. While he was glad that Miyu had been the one to stumble upon his dilemma and not one of his other well meaning friends, he also wished that he possessed the ability to do this himself.

"I just don't know what he wants," he said, frowning at his laptop's keys. For the time of year, it was actually a very nice day out, and Yusaku watched as a couple bought hot dogs from the front window. They seemed so comfortable in each other's space, and for a moment, Yusaku was almost jealous. _They _probably didn't struggle to get the other a gift.

From next to him, Miyu took another sip of her hot chocolate, rolling her eyes as she did so. "If it's from you, he'll love it no matter what you get him." She smiled, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You could probably get him something from the convenience store near your house and he'd just be glad that you thought of him."

The blush that had appeared on his face stretched from his cheeks to the tips of his ears at Miyu's words. Part of him wanted to refute her, but he knew that she wasn't really wrong. For whatever reason, whenever Yusaku _did _get him anything, Ryoken would always look at him as if he held the secrets to the universe. It didn't help that Ryoken was still working on his issues; his boyfriend still had trouble feeling like he deserved anything, but something told Yusaku that this particular effect would last until the end of time.

"I just want it to be something special." Yusaku sighed, flipping to the next page of the _Great Gift Ideas! _list he was on, shaking his head. Nothing was popping out at him at all.

Miyu snapped her fingers, startling Yusaku out of the endless loop of top ten lists he was flipping between. "Why don't we go into the center?" She asked him, grinning widely. "That's how we found your birthday gift, you know. I'm sure you'd find something good there!"

The camera Ryoken had gotten him a few months back from his birthday _had _been a very nice gift. Yusaku vaguely remembered him mentioning before that Miyu and Takeru had gone with him to help find something good, which was both parts hilarious to think about and kind of them. It wasn't a bad idea - not in the least - but the idea of going out shopping during one of the busiest times of year already had Yusaku feeling on edge.

However, the longer he stared at possibly hundreds of tabs he had open, all with terrible or far too generic gifts, Yusaku knew that he didn't really have much of a choice. Heaving a sigh, he nodded. "Fine," he said, shutting his laptop closed. "Let's go."

* * *

The instant Yusaku had stopped in front of the antique tech shop, he knew three things.

One: It was almost _certainly _the store Ryoken had gotten his camera from,

Two: It would almost certainly have a variety of other older hobby items,

And Three: It was probably the best place to find something Ryoken would actually think was cool.

"Here again?" Miyu asked, almost laughing to herself as she followed Yusaku in through the front doors. "You two are too similar for your own good, sometimes."

Shrugging, he turned to look at the first shelf, full of a variety of old computer parts. "It's not that weird that we both like technology." _And technically, _Yusaku thought but didn't add, _the camera doesn't even really count in the same way. _

For an antique shop, something of a dying breed, it was fairly well stocked, Yusaku noticed. There were different sections to the store, from old computer models to video games that had lost the war to VR to robot parts older than Roboppy. His heart still panged at the thought of his old cleaning robot, but he shook himself, continuing to walk through the aisles instead of thinking about it too much. There was no use in dwelling on the past - at least, not on that.

While Miyu walked slowly through each and every aisle, looking at everything but not truly taking it in, Yusaku considered everything in front of him. He'd narrowed it down to three different options at that point, each one seemingly having something above the others in some way.

The idea of asking Miyu which was a better choice was completely out of the question, as well. It's not as if he didn't trust her judgment, and it wasn't even as if he'd feel weird about asking her. He would, most likely, but he could put that behind him if it meant finding the best gift for Ryoken.

No, it was neither of those things that prevented Yusaku from asking his friend. It was that he wanted this to feel genuine. Ryoken's birthday gift to him earlier in the year had been something he'd treasured since he'd received it, his once barren and empty apartment slowly becoming filled with pictures of different moments that, once upon a time, he never thought he'd get to experience.

He turned the box he'd been holding in his hands, trying to find any faults on the old thing. The price had his stomach sinking, but it wasn't anything he couldn't _technically _afford. He'd just cut back on coffee that wasn't free from Cafe Nagi for the next few months.

"Is that what you're getting him?" Miyu asked, coming out from behind him to inspect the box. "That looks really cool, actually."

To hear that coming from her solidified the choice in Yusaku's mind. Not letting himself think about it too much, he took the box to the front of the store, digging out his wallet to pay. He hoped Ryoken would like it as much as he had liked his birthday gift.

* * *

It felt weird to ring the doorbell to Ryoken's house - mansion - but it would feel even weirder to just waltz right in on such an important date, Yusaku felt. So he waited, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. He knew his boyfriend would scold him over his lack of winter gear, and for once, he might actually give Ryoken a little credit where it was due. It was _cold_ out.

He tried not to show it too much when Ryoken finally opened the door, ushering him inside quickly. "You didn't have to ring the bell, you know," he said, and Yusaku just shook his head.

"I know." He put the box that he'd spent an hour attempting to gift wrap properly the night before down on the small table near the door. "It felt better today, though."

It wasn't much of an explanation, but he knew Ryoken would understand. Once his shoes were off along with the ratty old scarf he'd snagged out of the lost in found in fifth grade, Ryoken wrapped him in a hug, and Yusaku felt the tension seep out of him in waves.

"Merry Christmas, Yusaku," Ryoken told him, pressing a soft kiss into the side of his hair. Yusaku smiled for the first time that day, and pushed himself closer into Ryoken.

Though he was tightly pressed into Ryoken's shoulder, Yusaku tried his best to make himself heard. "Merry Christmas. I got you something." He couldn't deny that it was a bit childish, but he was looking forward to giving Ryoken his gift. It was rare for him to have the money, and even rarer for Ryoken to allow him to buy something in the first place.

Slowly, Ryoken released Yusaku, raising an eyebrow at him. "I told you not to do that," he said, but Yusaku saw the hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

He shrugged, going back to where he'd placed the present and pushing it into Ryoken's hands once he'd made his way back. Ryoken had, in fact, told him multiple times not to get him a gift, but Yusaku couldn't help himself. With how often he used the camera that he'd gotten for his birthday, it would've felt wrong for him not to get his boyfriend something in return. Ryoken's birthday was also around the corner, but he'd seen some other things at the antique tech shop that he could figure out how to afford later.

"Open it," Yusaku said, trying not to sound too much like an impatient little kid. Judging by the look Ryoken shot him, he had failed pretty miserably.

It probably wasn't the most comfortable place to be opening a gift, standing near the front door like this, but Ryoken did so with grace and care regardless. Surprisingly, he let the wrapping paper fall to the floor, and Yusaku made quick work of picking it up for him. Yusaku watched his boyfriend's expression change from confused to an excitement he rarely saw in Ryoken's face.

"It's really hackable," Yusaku blurted out. "The online systems have been long since shut down for it, but I know you can still download games for it on the network."

The Switch box that Ryoken held in his hands almost shook, and Yusaku couldn't help the large smile that found its way onto his face. "This is really cool," Ryoken finally said, studying the box even closer. It was mint in box, something of a rarity these days, and it was the newer red and blue model with the updated graphics card. "Thank you, Yusaku."

Putting the box down gently on the couch, he moved to wrap Yusaku up in his arms once again. "It seems you always find a way to outdo me," Ryoken whispered into his ear, and Yusaku did his best to not shiver at the way it felt. "I love you."

Every time he said those words - every time he showed it, in the little or big things he did, really - Yusaku felt like he was melting. He did, physically, lean more into Ryoken, pushing himself to be as close as humanly possible to Ryoken. But his insides felt like _goo_. There was no other way to describe it, and even after all this time, the feeling refused to go away. It was ridiculous, he knew. It wasn't like Ryoken rarely said those things to him, or did nice or overly romantic gestures, and yet Yusaku couldn't help himself.

"I love you, too," Yusaku said after a moment, after moving his face off of Ryoken's chest. "Merry Christmas."

"Would you like to eat dinner now?" Ryoken asked, lips brushing against Yusaku's cheek as he did so. "I got something traditional, so I'm sure you'll like it."

Traditional likely meant KFC, and Yusaku's eyes lit up. He'd only had the fast food once or twice, as the closest chain to his apartment was a bit out of the way for him, but it was much more exciting than just having hot dogs as he usually did. Ryoken often went out of his way to make sure Yusaku had decent meals, but no matter how often it happened, his appreciation for it never wavered.

"Food sounds great," Yusaku agreed, pulling himself away from Ryoken's arms. "Food sounds _really _great, actually."

It was hard to believe that this was his life now - that after everything that had happened, everything he had lost, things were finally a relative _normal_. That Yusaku was allowed to feel this… happy. There were still days that he thought he would wake up, and still be in that white room all alone, with only Ryoken's occasional words of comfort. There were still days he panicked; clinging onto his boyfriend for dear life to make sure he was still _there_. Still real.

But it always was real. He had made it past all of his hardships, all of his losses, and was finally allowed to live a normal life.

As they walked over to the table that Ryoken had already set up with KFC and paper plates, Yusaku squeezed his hand. "Thank you," he said, a bright and honest smile making its way onto his lips. "You're the best Christmas present I could've asked for."

Ryoken's face turned a bright, bright red at his words, and he looked away quickly. "Yes, well," Ryoken stuttered out, in a rare display of being caught completely off guard. "You, too."

Yusaku let out a little laugh, settling himself down at his usual chair at the table. It was hard to believe, but every single day, it got a little bit easier.

* * *

**Notes**

Thank you for reading! And seriously, I'm so happy that even though Vrains has been finished for almost three months now that the fandom is still so active. It's been a really, really long time since a piece of media spoke to me so deeply, and it makes me so happy to know there are so many others out there who don't want to see the fandom slow down. Anyways, I'll see you guys tomorrow for my personal favorite of my fics for the week! Enjoy your Wednesday!


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